Divorce; rebuild your life without your spouse, learning to eat alone

The hardest part of a divorce is being alone. You have to learn how to do everything alone. You have to learn to live alone, to do things out side of the home alone, to sleep alone, and to eat alone. Have you ever sat in a restaurant alone? Did you feel weird? Do you feel like you don't fit in being a single? Well don't fret because you will be able to rebuild your life without your ex and you can learn to enjoy being single.

How can you learn to eat alone? It's hard. It's so hard to be around couples and be the odd one in the middle, however, it doesn't have to be. If you are willing to try, you will find that your first time will be very difficult. One you first go to a restaurant, for the first time, without someone you are going to be insecure and wonder how many people are staring at you and what they are saying or thinking. The others don't really matter, it's insecurity with yourself. To deal with this you have to go through many steps.

First, you should go out and get all dolled up. Look your best in a new dress and have all the pampering done all day long. When you feel like you are so beautiful, you are ready to go out. Make reservations at your favorite place and strut your stuff walking into the place. People will notice you, but then you will know it is because you look so great and not because you stand out in a negative way. This will make you more confident.

When it comes to your behavior during the deal you can order a drink and read some of the things that are at your table. You don't have to make eye contact with anyone. All you have to do is sit there and give off some confidence. Soon you will have men coming up to you and giving you a lot of attention. This is perfectly fine. It will give you compliments and you will love the free drinks.

Once you have built some confidence up, you will find that you will have no problem eating out by yourself, but what about eating alone in your home. Well don't feel bad about being single. Make a healthy meal and then make yourself comfortable in the kitchen or in front of the TV. You may want to cuddle up in a blanket and enjoy some comedy or such on TV. Once you have done this a couple times at home you will become comfortable eating alone anywhere.

The key to being alone is being able to say negative things but then letting them roll off your back. You should not expect to be able to be okay with being alone right away. The longer that you were together, the harder it is to get over the relationship. You may feel like you never want to be alone ever, well it's not possible. You need to learn how to be independent. You know when you are independent when you are able to go out to eat by yourself and not feel one bit out of place.

For you to be able to be okay with being alone, you have to be okay with yourself. That is why it is sometimes easier for women to get dressed up and look their best before they go. As for men, they usually do not have issues with being alone. They can be alone, they can eat alone, they can sleep alone and so on. Men do not have security issues like women. If you truly dislike being alone, you can spend more time with loved ones, but you will never know how it feels to be independent.

Divorce, turn to religion to get through it all

A divorce is seen as a sin most religions. It's hard to fall back on religion went they persecute you, however, there are ways that you can use your faith to help you through something as difficult as a divorce. Faith is what grounds us. Faith is what says what's wrong and what's right. When your heart is broken, you can use your faith to give you strength to help you connect back to yourself. If you are going through a divorce right now, you may find your faith gone, but it is not. You are hurt, you are trying to cope with it the best you can.

The first thing that you should keep in mind is what is known as the law of acceptance. With your faith you are able to accept everything that life throws at you. Things don't just happen. They happen because of a divine spirit that is guiding us through live. Some people believe that it is god's will. Other's argue that God's Will does not inflict pain. That's where predestination comes in. Everything that we do is because we have an intended destiny that was written upon birth. If you want to think about your divorce as a law of surrender.

The law of surrender states that the minute you give in to your faith and reach out for God or Gods you will find that your faith will led you to have better opportunities and it will change your entire life. When you surrender your heart to god, he helps you back to your feet and will fix everything wrong in your life.

Then there divine guidance. This type of faith is presented in a poem known as Footprints. During the poem a man finds that when times are good, then there are two sets of footprints. During the rough times, there is only one. The man asks God one day why leaves when times get hard. God speaks and says that when he only saw one set of footprints it was because God was carrying him. Divine guidance is when god does what you cannot. If you feel that you cannot live another day. God helps you through it. If you feel that you just can't go on any more because of your divorce, God will be there to give you strength as long as you believe in his power.

God is so different for many people. However, to Christians, god is a spirit that oversees our lives and he gives us hope, love, and guidance. We are whom he created in hopes of making a better world, a world that once never existed. God is a merciful God. He does not punish those that repent. God allows you to be forgiven as long as you are truly forgiven. Many people will use this as karma. Karma is what leads us to god it is why we repent. Remember, what you dish out, you will get back third folds. When karma comes back, god is there to forgive you when you are ready.

Now many people believe that a divorce is a sin against god that cannot be forgiven, however, it is not god that judges, but those around us. In the Bible, it says that you need to learn how to forgive your fellow man. When you forgive, you are able to open your heart up to the world and to god. God forgives because we are his creation and he wants everyone to find his or her happiness.

Free will is seen as the evil in region, however, God gave everyone free will. Why? God wants everyone to choose him. Whatever you do, if you choose God, He will forgive you for your sins and he will help you through your divorce. This is the one thing that you can be guaranteed during a divorce. God is always with you, no matter what you do, He is there to give you the strength to go on.

How to rebuild your life keep your personal thoughts private

A divorce is something that is usually thought of as private between a man and a woman. However there are things that can happen to make it more of an ordeal and many others may find out about it. You want to try and keep the proceedings as private as you can so that you are not going to be unconvinced at all by what is happening in your life.

Your private life is usually just that, private. You do not want to make a big thing about your divorce and you will probably want it to stay as quiet as you can get it. The most important thing to remember about your divorce is that you are should be embarrassed. Many people go through this and it is a time that can be difficult for everyone involved. You need to make sure that you are keeping certain things private so that others do not know your business.

You want to make sure that you are doing everything that you can to rebuild your life when you are going through a divorce. You want to keep your personal feelings to yourself as much as you can. However sometimes it is good to talk to someone else and get everything out in the open. You may have certain people that you can rely on and feel comfortable talking things over with. You will appreciate these people and have a high degree of trust for them as well. Some would include your family and very close friends. You will have these certain people that stick by you no matter what life throws your way.

You do not want to make a lot of fuss over your personal thoughts when you are going through a divorce. You want to make sure that you are keeping as much to yourself as you can. You do not want others to know some of the details in your divorce and you certainly do not want them to know how you are really feeling about the other person. You want to get as much sympathy as you can without sounding too desperate and willing to give up too much information. You want to have the upper hand in the divorce so that you can feel better about yourself and the situation that you are going through.

You want to try and focus on the future that you are going to be rebuilding and do not put so much attention on the past. You are going to want to make sure that you are putting all of your efforts into making your divorce as painless as you can and getting past the bad feelings. Sometimes it may be a relief to let out some of your frustrations and talk to others about your private life. However remember that anything you say can come back to haunt you and you do not want to take that chance. You have to watch out for the eyes and ears that are around to make things difficult for you during your divorce.

Building on your future is important and something that many people take for granted. However when you are serious about getting a new start and making your life something that you can look forward to, you want to keep your personal and private feelings inside you. This is something for you to hold onto and to make the most of as you go along. You will feel better and be further ahead of the situation when you are careful about what you do and say around others about your divorce.

How to rebuild your life, during divorce, become friends

Most people will find that it is hard to resolve or let go of their feelings during a divorce. They will become angry and feel like they will lose control at any moment. You should know that there are hundreds of people who feel the same way. You will want to seek therapy to help you control your temper and feelings of rage. When you seek therapy you will also learn how to get along with your mate for the sake of the children. You may also want to stay friends during the divorce so that you don't end up losing a lot of money during the divorce. You don't want to spend hours of your time in mediation or court. You want to be able to put this as much in the past as possible. You don't want to waste any more money and time than necessary so you should become friends with your mate for the sake of that.

To be friends you should still care about what the other feels. You should talk to them privately and civilized. If you want out of a marriage and remain friends, you should try to keep affairs and such out of the air. If they don't know that you have been seeing someone else, don't tell them. Just tell them that you aren't feeling good about the marriage and want to try it apart. You will also want to keep the affair to a minimum during the divorce. As soon as you place another person in the mixing you will have someone feeling defensive, and that's not your goal of this.

You should also participate in family therapy so that the kids don't feel that it's their fault. You can find security in therapy and you will notice that most people will be able to feel better because they have resolved some of the issues. They have gotten answers for some of their issues. When it comes to being friends, it's hard to divide everything up and still claim friendship.

Divorce is territorial and the worst of everyone will become evident. This is when you will want to set a day or two aside to talk to your spouse calmly about what goes and what stays. If you talk without the attorneys then you can keep things off the defensively and be more productive. You can go through out the house and talk about all the things that you are going to miss and how you feel. This way they know that this isn't so easy for you either. Most of the time, you can resolve all the issues of a divorce by just talking off the record. You can save money on the lawyers as well as the hurt that is involved. You may end up having to give up some control over certain matters so that the compromise will allow the divorce to stay civilized. When you talk, you should never raise your voice. Your tone should be low and you should try to understand their side so that you are able to have a clean sweep.

You should explain to your mate that this is not an act or plea to come back. You have cared about them for a long time and still do and that is why you would like to spare any of the hardships. Some people will try to be nice to come back, but if you are nice to your spouse in general, things will be more pleasant for everyone and the divorce will go quickly. You should compromise, but you shouldn't give more than you are willing.

How to rebuild your life, find an attorney

How to find that right lawyer to handle your divorce can be difficult. There are many factors that you will want to look at. Once you have gotten over the pain and hurt, you need to consult a lawyer to advise you on what's fair. Some lawyers will try to go for all they can, but if you want to have a civilized divorce (if one is possible) you will want to go after only what is fair. There is a lot of stress that divorce can bring, but if you find the right attorney you will find that you won't have to deal with so much. You need a lawyer that will ease your stress levels.

One thing that you need to look at when choosing an attorney is the fee. Is it going to cost you an arm and a leg? If so, then you may just be adding more stress ontop of things. Lawyers will let you know what they costs will be, and that will depend on the difficulty of the divorce. If you don't have anyone contesting a marriage then you may just want to hire the same lawyer and get things over with. If you want to have a sensible divorce, you don't want to go with the high paid lawyers. They will go for all they can so that they can get a better fee. You need to be as open and honest as possible when you first meet with the lawyer. This way you can have a good idea of what to look forward to.

You should also take their expertise in consideration too. If they have a good track record, you should hire them if you want to have a blood battle or get as much as possible. However, you can hire a lawyer outside of the divorce field. But if you get an experienced lawyer, they know the judges and how they react to certain cases. They will use all of their knowledge for your advantage. The fee may be more important than expertise, but you should know that you get what you pay for.

You may also want to ask around. Your friends will know a few lawyers that will be good candidates. A good lawyer will not hide anything. They will let their clients know that they would like to be referred and they may even talk about past clients. This will convince you of how experienced and good they are so that you will hire them. Their testimony may mean nothing, but if you ask around you will be able to get a good idea of what they are really like. Some lawyers are known for being hard and so if that's what you are looking for, then you should go with a lawyer that everyone speaks of.

You should also go with a lawyer that you like. It is important that you trust your lawyer. You need to be able to rely on them. You also need to know that their attitude goes along with yours. If you want a cutthroat lawyer, then make sure that have the personality to be, but if you just want to get it over with and be done than seek a lawyer who will go after what's fair.

When it comes to picking your lawyer, you will want to make sure that you have one in mind that will do exactly what you want. You also want a lawyer who will have the time to deal with all the stress of the divorce so you can easily wash your hands of it all. You will want a lawyer that understands how you feel and knows what you want and how you would like to get it.

Divorce; learn to get past what you hear

Divorce teaches a person many things. Some people take them to a place that makes them bitter. People lose a lot in divorces and that's not just personal materials. A person will lose a piece of himself or herself through the process of divorce. You should know that when you go through a divorce you might make a lot of personal changes. You will find your own way and become independent. You may change negatively, but eventually you'll get back on track.

You will want to overcome being this way by allowing yourself to learn your lesson, but not hold it against yourself. You will learn so much from a divorce that you may be scared to enter another relationship, but you shouldn't. You should know that your friends and family love you and want you to be happy. Your friends will encourage you, as well as, support you.

One the most important lessons that you will learn from divorce is you are stronger than you think. It takes a lot out of a person and it knock you down. Going though all that you have, you will become a stronger person. It will enable you to handle situations that you normally wouldn't think you could handle. Divorce makes you stronger.

It will also allow you to know the difference between words and action. Your mate might have promised to be civilized and then took everything. This may make you not want to trust anyone ever again, however, you will find a medium of believing everything and distrusting everything. You will know when someone is feeding you a line and you will tell when someone is being truly honest. Actions always speak louder than words. You may want to keep that in mind when it comes to other relationships.

You will also learn to appreciate your friends. You know when you have a true friend because you will never be alone in your times of need. Your friends will always have your back in everything that you do. You will also find that your friends are source of strength. They will encourage you to be better and they will encourage you to have goals and reach for them. Divorce will also let you know which friends aren't worth a dime. You will be able to tell the difference between an honest person and someone who will stay with you and someone who just uses your friendship every now and then.

Another important less that everyone will learn is that anger helps heal. Although, there are people who say that you should hold back on your anger during times like divorce so that you don't mess up you case. But you need to get angry! You need to yell, you need to curse, you need right your wrong even if it won't help. Once you have expressed your anger you can then learn what it takes to let it go. You can get all your feelings out, all your hurt, and then you can learn to forgive. Anger is the beginning of the healing process.

Another tip that you will get from divorce is that sometimes it's better to be on your own and follow your own path, whether than put up following someone else. You will be happier being able to control your life you will be a better person if you are able to find your own way of doing things. Your self-esteem will rise because you are an independent individual. It may be something that you never expected from yourself and more of a reason to feel a whole lot better about the situation.

How to look your friends in the face, during divorce

When it comes to divorce, it is hard to tell your spouse, it's even harder to tell your friends and family. If you have been thinking about divorce and you have taken it heavy to heart, then you will want to tell your spouse and then your family. The timing needs to be right. You shouldn't announce at thanksgiving dinner that you would like a divorce and hope that your entire family listening so you don't have to repeat it. You should arrange a time like luncheon to tell your closest family. Take your mother out to dinner and tell her what you think and how you feel. It's okay to vent.

Your family will be completely understanding, and if you don't think that someone will be, let them hear through the grapevine. You should speak to them with calmness in your voice. You can imagine how some of your family will react, they too will be shocked, and especially if they didn't know that the marriage has problems. You should never tell your family on the phone, in a letter, or on the answer machine. If you don't think you can face someone and tell them, then don't tell them at all. Wait until you have had time to accept it and when you are in a good state of mind. Let the shock happen.

Once you have told your family and friends they will begin to ask you questions. You have the right to answer and the right to decline. You don't have to justify anything to them. As for showing your face up to family events, You may want to pull away for a couple months because they are going to be a lot of ignorant people who tell you that they are sorry or comment and if you aren't ready for that it's okay to pull away from certain events, but you can not isolate yourself. It will help you to face your friends and family once you have someone on your side. You may want to tell your sister, your brother, a close friend. This way you will find strength in numbers. The most people to understand your situation, the better you will feel about it

When it comes to telling the children, you should do it together. You both should remain calm and just tell the children that you would like to try it apart, but make sure that the children understand that they aren't losing a parent or both.

Counseling has helped a lot of people deal with their failing marriage by lending some support. You should discuss some of the arrangements that you need to figure out and how you feel going through the process. Therapy would also be a help when it comes to announcing it to someone who may not understand. You will find courage and strength in the therapy.

You may feel uncomfortable announcing your spit, but you need to remember that this is the time that you need to lean on someone. You need to find comfort from your friends and family. How else will you find comfort if you do not tell them; as soon as you are ready you can make a phone and invite some friends or family over and tell them everything. Don't leave anything out. Your friends will validate your feelings and will support you so do not fear their response.

Divorce is hard on everyone, but telling the friends and family should not because they love you. They want you to be happy and will be there for you regardless of anything. They are your support system and should be allowed to give you the support that you need.

Divorce, move on emotionally '

Divorce is one of the major chances of life that you may be affected by. You may suddenly feel like your whole world is collapsing. You need to deal with certain issues like the money, the children, your personal changes, and how you can adapt to divorce. First, you have to realize that there is life after marriage. You can bring a new life and not be tied down a marriage that just can't work. You need to start the divorce process by admitting that it is truly happening to you. You need to get out of your denial stage and accept that things will be different. Don't expect your mate to come running back, because they have made their decision. Why should you let them come back if they are able to cause you so much pain? If someone can cause you that much pain then they aren't worth it.

To get moving onto something better, you need to learn when grieving is acceptable and when it is not. Take your time grieving. There are many steps that you will have to go through to get to the point of acceptance. You will be shocked, then confused, then angry, and then so on. You should take months to lie in bed and contemplate where your life is going. You can spend a weekend in bed, and then on Monday get up and go to work and hold your head up high. You need to take just a little bit of time to examine your life and then you have to focus on your life and your children.

You can't just stop being a mother; you have to focus on the children. You got to get things together or you will never be happy. You need to make sure that you are productive during your days. Once the divorce is final, you do what you need to do to be happy and focus on the things that matter in your life. Don't just give up.

Once you have accepted your fate, you do not need to be so negative about it. You can be single at any age and still find true love or happiness. You need to take the negative things and then turn them into something positive. Leave the past in the past and focus on the present and future. Enjoy what you have and look forward towards the future. You should not hold grudges, because it will effect the children. You want to make sure that your children will be able to make a smooth adjustment. You will also want to forget about regret. You shouldn't regret your marriage because there were so many good memories that you had. If you had children as a result of the marriage, then you obviously wouldn't want to regret them.

To start the moving on process you need to be a bigger person. Even if you want to yell and curse and be difficult, remember that you have children and ask yourself what they would think of you if they saw you acting like that. You need to be a role model for your children. You can't show them that you are upset, because they look at you as their guardian and protector.

Once you have regained yourself you can then begin to plan your new life. You can purchase a new home, buy a new car, and rebuild a life that is completely what you want. You have complete control over everything. You have so much freedom and you should advantage of the freedom. Change your appearance, redecorate the house, do whatever it takes to find yourself.

Divorce, rebuild your life, get a new pet

So what happens to the pets when it comes to the divorce? Some care so much about their animals that it could be devastating when the lawyers speak of them like property. The value of the pets that we place in our hearts can sometimes be hard when it comes to being apart. If you are in the battle of your lifetime and your mate wants to fight dirty, they can go for custody of the pets.

They use the pets like leverage, much like children. The key to making out like a bandit in a divorce is to found what one person wants and then act like you need it or want it more. Usually the courts will give pets to the one who is more passionate or emotionally attached, which can be easily faked. Ex's go for the pets because they want to hurt you as much as possible. If you have any children or pets in a marriage you are more than likely to have an ugly divorce.

Like the children, the courts will ask themselves what is best for the pet. If your spouse gets the home and the yard, more likely they'll get the dog. If the pet only knows that one home, they are more likely to get the pet because they have an emotional attachment to their secured home. However, some judges will go on the fact of who had the dog first. If you gave it to your girlfriend and then over the years became attached it, the attachment doesn't matter. Sometimes they look at pets like property. Who has the right it property? Well, the answer is, the one who owns it. They will not share the pet. This is because it's actually unhealthy for the dog. The dog will become confused easily and they won't have their security and may develop some emotional or aggressive behaviors.

Most of the time, the wife got the kids, the house, and the pets. This is because they feel that the children need the house as security and the family pet needs the children for security as well, so they all go together. This is one issue that has been addressed over the years, and the father has gotten all three.

If the judge can't think about the pet's interest, maybe you or your spouse should start acting properly in the divorce and instead of trying to get it all, give up the things you really don't want. If you don't like the dog, don't take the dog. If you don't the cat, don't ask for it. Don't fight over something that is just going to hurt you both in the long run.

However, there are people who lose their pet and need to rebuild their life with a new one. There is always going to be hurt feelings about losing the original pet, but getting another one will help you deal with the loss, it won't replace the animal, but it will allow you to begin the process of moving on and letting go. You may need some time to think things over.

It's hard to replace a pet that you were so close to. It's like losing a child or best friend. However, if you get another pet, not just another dog or cat, but any type of pet that will comfort you and be there for you then the divorce will be a lot easier to cope with. If you are thinking about a new pet, you should go to the shelters. They have animals that have been rejected and hurt and they will bond with you. You are more likely to bond with them because you can understand their situation. You may find that a pet from the shelter will be exactly what you need.

Divorce, rebuild your life, make new friends (how to find new friends)

So you have just gone through a divorce and you now feel the need to find new friends. Maybe you just relocated to get away from your ex and all the people who take a role in your divorce, or maybe it is because you have lost all the "friends" in the divorce.

Either way you know that there are dozens of new people that you can be friends with. If you still aren't in the mood to go out, but you still feel the need to reach out to someone, try the Internet. You don't have to go online looking for love or a new boyfriend/girlfriend. You can go online to find someone to talk to and become good friends. This person can be male or female and they can be there to talk to without judgments. The Internet is great too because it has false security. You can interrupt their words anyway that you would like.

You don't have any body language to help you decode the messages and you can't hear their tone of voice. Sometimes this is a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. You can be whomever you want to. You may be depressed and embarrassed about your divorce, but to them you can be a single person who has never been married. You get to write your own story line to make yourself feel better about your situation. You can find comfort from this person much like a person that you've been friends with forever.

If you want to reach out for serious friendship you may want to spend more time with friends and family. They can introduce you to some people who are in close proximity to you and you can begin a relationship with them. If you are looking for someone to be more than just partner for game night, you can also ask some of your friends if they can hook you up with someone who you might like. Although blind dates always seem so horrible, you will find that you may fall in love with a person who you met through a friend. Never judge a situation before you enter the picture because you never know what you may find in a person.

If you believe that you need some new friends because you are so depressed, it may not be a friendship that you need, but some medical attention. If you believe that you are so depressed than you need to reach out and get some help so that you can be happier. Some people find that drugs, alcohol, or even involving themselves more at work is the solution to the depression. Just because you cannot think about how sad are you doesn't mean you aren't. When you start to self medicate or overwork yourself, you are only adding more fuel to the fire. It's not healthy.

If you would like to reconnect with an old flame that you recently saw again, then you have no reason not to go for it. There is no reason why any one should feel that they couldn't ask another person on a date because they have just been divorced. Your divorced, your single, and you should go seek out dating opportunities, as well as other friendships. A friend is what keeps you young. Friends can help you get over your divorce, as well as, your depression.

Divorce, finding that new special friend and moving on

Do you find yourself divorced and dating again? It's so hard to find someone special enough to make a move. It's hard enough to even accept your first date let alone start a new life with someone special. Dating is a game that can involve good times and bad times. The thing about love is that you have a risk and everyone has a risk. The excitement is what we live for. It is what we need in our lives.

If you have been out of the game for a long time, you may feel a little out of place. You are now in new situations with new people. Dating is hard and it gets harder the older we get. Why? Because we tend to be on the defense rather than the offense when it comes to dating in our older years. Before you get to the dating, you have to stop and think about a few things. You have to seriously think about what you are looking for and why.

The first thing that you need to do is just your priorities straight. Do you just want to meet new people, do you want to be friends, or this a relationship that you seek? Don't allow anyone to tell you what you should do. You can be in your 60's and seek love; you can be any age and want to seek love. You should never let another person tell you what you want. You need to know what you want first so that you don't mislead anyone or get mixed messages. This is the way that you can date smart. Dating smart means that you both of the same objections and are perfectly matched in goals.

The next thing is to be open-minded. You have forgotten what it is like to be in love. You can make crazy mistakes in the name of love. Don't allow yourself to get too far off the ground. You don't your heart to break so early in the game. The first date is always the worst. If he calls back, great, and if they don't then it's okay because you have another date. Don't tie yourself down. Play the field to find out what exactly you are looking for. This will let you to pick someone because you want to not because you are settling.

When it comes to meeting someone new be open to the channels of love. Let your family and friends help you get back in the game by doing some blind dating or speed dating. You will want to ask some of your friends to help you find someone and you should ask your family the same thing. The only thing about blind dates is that you want to make sure that your supported. Don't allow someone to say that your too old or blind dates are ridiculous. We all have had a blind date and one or two turned out to be a meaningful relationship.

You can answer a personal ad online or in the newspaper. The only thing that you have to worry about this kind of blind date is that it is done in a public place. You want to make sure that you are safely going to meet someone. Don't allow them to know your full name or where you live until after a few dates and you thing that it's someone that you would like to meet.

When you have allowed yourself to meet that special someone, you will find that your life will pick up where it seemed to fall apart and you may have your happy ever after. The only thing about ever 'afters' is that they normally don't find you, you have to find them.